Private! What happened to our thumbs?

60 views • November 22, 2018
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I can’t believe my mom would cheat.

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Find an ending. But don’t cheat.

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Don’t do it, Dad. Don’t cheat.

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Cheat, lie, I don’t care.

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Just don’t cheat this time.

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Sophie, come sit on Daddy’s lap.

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Just sit on Santa’s lap.

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A nice, sexy lap dance.

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Ooh! Mommy’s little baby is getting big and chubby.

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Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby.

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… I’ll break your chubby little legs.

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Chubby?

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Lance is a skinny guy with glasses and red hair.

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Too skinny.

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He was tall, broad shoulders, and thin, really thin, like bony.

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… and offered him a single rose …

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Public bathrooms freak me out. I can’t even pee, let alone do anything else.

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Let alone two women.

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0:06

Draw all the way back now to your cheek. That’s right.

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0:07

Don’t you worry your chubby little face about that.

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That’s a pretty big butt.

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Filthy toilet! You’re dead, Fluff Butt.

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Apparently you were a little mean to him in high school.

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Don’t feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until…

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-but showing up uninvited to a wedding. -Fiona!

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bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead

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I put one red thing in a load of whites and now everything’s pink.

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We wouldn’t want to miss old Daddy’s celebration, now, would we?

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-Bye, Mom. -I’ll pick you up after school.

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Sun’s barely up and Gerald’s had more than he can handle.

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Mom needs help!

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Her favorites are orchids. White. And breakfast in bed.

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Watch your step, please.

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You want Jackson Five on your feet? One Jackson per toe.

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Are you feeling lightheaded or dizzy at all? You’re wiggling your toes!

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I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes

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He had everyone wrapped around his chubby little finger.

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– Fool! – Get off, you big bully.

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Son, I take care of my own.

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Hey, you didn’t have any candy in you.

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